She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
