the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
