What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
