Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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