is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
