your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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