I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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