Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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