I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
He better not be in your backpack
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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