Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
Randomize
