I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
