How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
