just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Two words: nipple clamps
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