Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
