I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
