I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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