I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
