Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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