the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize