that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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