I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
handjob tips. give me some.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
