they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
