I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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