how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
