i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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