Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
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