While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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