his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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