I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
