my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
