I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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