Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
you traded sex for a burrito?
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
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