David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
pop tarts are not kleenex
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
The adults are the big ones right?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
