I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize