You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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