I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
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