i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
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IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
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I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
and you fell through a lawn chair
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize