I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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