I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
