tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Randomize
