I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
