That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
