when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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