Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
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