So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
