My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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