jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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