Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
