I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
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