She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Come on in and take your pants off
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