trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Randomize
