Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Randomize
