He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
where are you?
Hypothermia
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize
