i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
