hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
