All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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