Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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